you see this?
it’s called a razor
if you’re a girl, USE IT
your hairy legs and armpits aren’t cute okay
you’re not helping out for woman’s rights or anything
YOU’RE JUST MAKING YOURSELF LOOK NASTY
Women have been socialized to believe that they must remove hair for a number of reasons, primarily the following:
- hair is historically and Biblically associated with power; we as a patriarchal culture are obsessed with keeping hair on men (facial hair, Hair Club for Men, hair plugs, whatever) and keeping it off women. You say hair on women is nasty; why is it only hair on women? Women and men have the same pubic hair. We all grow it out of our follicles for the same reason. Why is it only gross on women?
- women’s bodies have been considered the property of men since the dawn of time, and therefore we have been held to a standard of beauty and attractiveness that is not determined by us but is instead determined by something called the male gaze, which is erases all sexualities and genders other than cisgender heterosexual men and assumes that women are performing for it.
- childlike women are considered less “threatening” and more “feminine” because they are naive, quiet, and rely on ~*adult men*~ to take care of them.
- there is a fallacy about pubic hair that it is dirty. It is not dirty. In fact, it’s there to keep your genitals cleaner. Pubic hair and armpit hair are also there to spread your pheromones around and make it easier for you to attract a mate.
- all mammals have hair. We’re mammals.
- No one else’s body is your business. Ever. You want to shave? Go ahead! That’s totally your prerogative and if you’re more comfortable shaving, feel free. But given that pubic hair isn’t innately dirty, there’s no reason for anyone to remove it if they don’t want to.
You’re not sending out some edgy, hardcore message here. You’re just reinforcing what our culture wants you to reinforce. Before you pick up that razor again, think about why you want to shave. Is it just because our culture told you to? Why’d they tell you to? What’s the point?
Do what makes you comfortable and what makes you happy, and let others do the same.
because I want to be the one to decide when and why I smile and not to be told to do it and then feel scared and pressured to do it.
Really, men hardly listen to women. It’s funny that our whole society and all of our so-called “relationship advice” treats this phenomenon like it’s natural rather than a symptom of patriarchy/ men thinking they’re more important than women.
Every time a woman speaks it’s seen as nagging or being annoying. A man can say the same thing and it’s suddenly viable.
The word nagging used to scare me. My dad would always tell me to make sure that I never nagged a man like my mother nagged him. Nagging is a dirty word men use to shame women for speaking their minds. My mother never “nagged”. She just disagreed and disliked things and spoke on it.
Thinking back, I always let men speak more than I did. Because I knew that patriarchal minded men don’t like to hear women speak. My father taught me that and the lesson was reinforced everywhere. And I wanted certain men to be pleased with me. So I did what patriarchal men like for their women to do: smile, pretend to not have strong convictions, and never challenge.
Patriarchal men only like when women speak in order to affirm or agree with him. They could listen to a woman speak all day if it was about how perfect he is and how willing she is to listen to his every command. Like the woman singing the refrain in a rap song, you the boss you the boss.
Now today I catch myself being actually surprised that Joshua genuinely listens to me. It’s the surprise that spurred me to write this post.
I shouldn’t be surprised. Wanting to listen to your partners’ dreams and thoughts should be a given. But unfortunately, it’s not if you’re a woman with a man.
Sometimes if I get mad I feel like I’m nagging. I know that’s because I still associate vocally not agreeing with a man with being facetious/ silly/ annoying. Because that’s what it’s always framed as. Instead of what it is, legitimate discontent.
But even when women say regular things, not even things about being discontent. Men don’t listen. Men like to make fun of how they hear nothing or a garble when women speak and it’s like, why is that funny or acceptable or healthy if you’re in a relationship with that woman?
If she is expected to know and understand her man, and at the same time expect the monolithic treatment men think they can give to all women irrespective of nuances. It’s like that a lot. I always hear men talk about how much they “know” and “understand” women. My response to that is, “you do realize that women are individuals right?”
That ties into not listening. If women are viewed a monolithic blob that is less intelligent, less thoughtful, less interesting (because the feminine is not interesting like the masculine) then it would be difficult to listen to her speak. I probably couldn’t bring myself to do it either, if I were a man who thought like that.
In the wake of the Virginia forced transvaginal ultrasound debate in Virginia, bill supporters have tried to justify their bill by stating that ultrasounds are the “gold medal standard” of pre-abortion care. But are they?
As one midwife explains in an article on The Clinical Advisor, unless a patient presents with an issue that would have a medical practitioner suspect an ectopic pregnancy, often they aren’t used at all.
Robyn Carlisle, MSN, CNM, WHNP, full-scope midwife at University Doctors and Kennedy University Hospital in Sewell, N.J., writes:
I recently saw a patient in the office for amenorrhea, severe left-sided pelvic pain, and a positive home pregnancy test. I ordered blood work and a stat ultrasound to rule out ectopic pregnancy. When I mentioned the ultrasound, the patient balked and confided that she was uncertain whether she wanted to continue the pregnancy.
My patient felt that an ultrasound would just complicate an already painful decision to terminate the pregnancy. I explained to her that while I understood her apprehension, given her clinical presentation, we needed to ensure this was not a tubal pregnancy and move forward with the ultrasound.
Under normal circumstances in New Jersey, this patient would not have needed an ultrasound to confirm her pregnancy, especially if she was considering an abortion. Unfortunately, not all women have this choice.
First trimester ultrasounds are not part of routine prenatal care. Many insurance companies will not cover first trimester ultrasound without a medical indication, such as vaginal bleeding or severe pelvic pain. So why are politicians now requiring this expensive procedure for a woman who plans to terminate her pregnancy?
Despite what some prolife advocates may think, the decision to terminate a pregnancy is never an easy one. Prochoice does not mean pro-abortion. Prochoice means supporting a woman’s legal choices regarding pregnancy and her body. Requiring unnecessary ultrasounds add to the pain women experience when making an already difficult decision, but will most likely not change the decision once it has been made.
Pregnant women who show signs or symptoms of ectopic pregnancies receive ultrasounds. Not every other woman does. Why are legislators insisting that it be different for women wanting to end a pregnancy?
When legislators mandate more “care” for a woman who wants to terminate than is usually given to a woman with a wanted pregnancy, and expensive, medically unnecessary care, how can that be anything but government sanctioned coercion?
Emphasis mine. Pregnant people, not just cis women.
I’m running out of energy on this ultrasound issue but to reiterate:
- They most often are medically unnecessary
- They’re expensive and because they must be paid for out-of-pocket people in poverty will be affected the most, making abortion more inaccessible and in some cases unobtainable.
- There is no justification for legislators to mandate the medical practices of doctors in this fashion. If an ultrasound is necessary in a particular instance for an abortion to proceed, the doctor will do one. But mandating them is nonsensical and removes all consent from the procedure.
Quick story. My friend is in S. Carolina with her boyfriend. The two of them are new to their relationship and not much in the way of hanky-panky has yet gone on… I talked to her on the phone today and found out that her boyfriend got a pretty bad sunburn the first couple of days they were down they but that it’s fading to white. In the background, I could hear him say “I’m red and white; if I had some blue, I’d be a flag.” So I told her, “Go give him a blowjob, then he’ll be ‘red, white, and blew’.” Grammar aside, I thought it was pretty funny and so did my friend. She laughed and told her boyfriend what I said. I could hear the blush in his face as he laughed, even over the phone.
The moral of the story: a blow-job is sometimes exactly what is called for in life.
The idea that domestic violence would ever be acceptable, much less desirable, is the unfortunate result of years of internalized misogyny and patriarchy. The twitter posts that went something along the lines of “I would let Chris Brown beat me” are offensive to victims and survivors everywhere, and only serve to perpetuate sexist violence.
[submitted by anonymous]
An anon came into my personal ask box the other day saying the same thing with the expression, “You play with fire, you’re gonna get burned.” Even so, if someone were playing with fire and got burned, would you deny them health care because they themselves were at fault? This outlook is nothing short of slut-shaming and cruel.
a work in progress
This should be on Until Anti-Choice Bigotry Ends. XD
(Making this rebloggable on request.)
[submitted by anonymous]
you thought I didn’t really notice. But I did. I wanted to high-five you.
Yesterday I had a pair of brothers in my store. One was maybe between 15-17. He was a wrestler at the local high school. Kind of tall, stocky and handsome. He had a younger brother, who was maybe about 10-12 years old. Thy were talking about finding a game for the younger one, and he was absolutely insisting it be one with a female charcter. I don’t know how many of y’all play games, but that isn’t exactly easy. Eventually, I helped the brothers pick a game called Mirror’s Edge. The youngest was pretty excited about the game, and then he specifically asked me.. “Do you have any girl color controllers?”
I directed him to the only colored controllers we have which includes pink and purple ones. He grabbed the purple one, and informed me purple was his FAVORITE.
The boys had been taking awhile, so their father eventually comes in. He see’s the game, and the controller, and starts in on the youngest about how he needs to pick something different. Something more manly. Something with guns and fighting, and certainly not a purple controller. He tries to convince him to get the new Zombie game “Dead Island.” and the little boy just stands their repeating “Dad, this is what I want, ok?” Eventually it turns into a full blown argument complete with Dad threatening to whoop his son if he doesn’t choose different items.
That’s when big brother stepped in. He said to his Dad “It’s my money, it’s my gift to him, if it’s what he wants I’m getting it for him, and if your gonna hit anyone for it, it’s going to be me.”
Dad just gives his oldest son a strong stern stare down, and then leaves the store. Little brother is crying quietly, I walk over and ruffle his hair (yes this happened all in front of me.) I say “I’m a girl, and I like the color blue, and I like shooting games. There’s nothing wrong with what you like. Even if it’s different that what people think you should.”
Big brother then leans down, kisses little brother on the head, and says “Don’t worry dude.”
They check out and leave, and all I can think is how awesome big brother is, how sweet little brother is, and how Dad ought to be ashamed for trying to make his son any other way.
wow. I definitely teared up.
Again: why feminism still matters, to everyone.
Yes, on all of this but Dad.