“Lord do me a favor. It’s wrong but I ask you: take my brother’s life. Cuz he’s sick of the suffering, the pills he’s inhaling, the cross he is bearing and that is his troubled mind.”—Medication by Damien Jurado
Harry Potter- Tell about a scar on your body. Ron Weasley- Something you’re afraid of. Hermione Granger- A subject you know a lot about. Draco Malfoy- Closest green item to you. Severus Snape- Your favorite Alcoholic beverage. Rubeus Hagrid- Your favorite animal. Luna Lovegood- Something about you other people find weird. Neville Longbottom- Your favorite flower. Nymphodora Tonks- Something you would change about your appearance. Fred and George Weasley- The last prank you pulled on someone, or someone pulled on you. Voldemort- If you were to make a Horcrux, it would be… Moaning Myrtle- The last thing to make you cry. Sirius Black- Have you ever taken the blame for something you didn’t do? Dobby- What is your most loved article of clothing? Peeves the Poltergeist- What is the best/funniest insult you’ve used/heard? Sybill Trelawney- When was the last time you experienced Deja Vu? Filius Flitwick- What is your favorite spell from the Harry Potter series? Lily Potter- Is there anyone you love so much you would die for? Arthur Weasley- What piece of “Muggle” technology fascinates you most? Mundungus Fletcher- Have you ever stolen anything? Viktor Krum- If you were a Quidditch player, what position would you play? Fleur Delacour- What physical attribute do you like most about yourself? Hedwig- What was your all-time favorite pet, or, if you’ve never had one, your all-time favorite birthday gift. Albus Dumbledore- What is your proudest accomplishment? (Dumbledore’s is, of course, being featured on a Famous Wizards Chocolate Frog Card)
“Practicing authenticity can feel like a daunting choice— there’s risk involved in putting your true self out into the world. But I believe there’s even more risk in hiding yourself and your gifts. Our unexpressed ideas, opinions, and contributions don’t just go away. They are likely to fester and eat away at our worthiness. I think we should be born with a warning label similar to the ones that come on cigarette packages: Caution: if you trade in your authentic self for safety you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.”—Brené Brown (via internal-acceptance-movement)
I’m beginning to suspect that all of my appetites are connected. I suspect this because they all seem to have come rushing back at the same time. And that would be NOW.
A little over four years ago, I decided to go celibate and I’ve been that way until very recently. It’s true that, during that time, I had a couple of boyfriends about whom I cared a great deal. There was even some fooling around, but no sex. One didn’t really want me: I was just sort of a rebound. The other didn’t/doesn’t believe in sex before marriage.
I didn’t mind the time I spent without sex, because it was originally for a good cause and then in keeping with a commitment I made to someone I love(d) very much. For what it’s worth, I’m not sure how I feel about the concept of monogamy, but I believe very much in sticking to whatever “rules” participants decide will guide their relationship. Even without sex, I was a very happy, fulfilled person. So, none of this is about regret.
However, I have begun to suspect that the celibacy has affected me in other ways. For one, while I was suppressing my sexual appetite, my actual appetite kind of went away too. I can be quite the eater, but for those years I didn’t feel nearly the cravings or hunger that I did previously or that I have since. (Especially since.) The same is true for my other appetites: I wasn’t compelled to read as much or write as much or….you name it.
I’d guess that part of it was just the act of suppression itself. The various types of lack, therefore, were at least partly self-imposed. However, I think part of it was also a sort of dysfunction brought on by the relationships I mentioned earlier. Neither of the guys are bad guys and I don’t mean to imply that they are. It’s just, I think the relationships affected me more than I’d imagined… No, not more; just in a different way than I’d imagined.
“I just wanted to say to him: If its ok for you to rape me because I was dressed like a ‘slut/skank/ho/whore’; then is it ok for me to shoot/stab/maim/kill you because you are a male who looks threatening? Aren’t you asking for it?”
Seriously you guys walking round in big drunken groups, wearing tshirts that show off your muscles that could potentially pin me to a wall, being rowdy at the back of the almost empty 10.20pm bus and making the space around you feel less safe for anyone who is not a white cis man - if I pull out a knife and stab every last one of you “I’m entitled to every inch of space around me” fuckers it’s fine because you were totally asking for it because the way you’re acting and looking fits right into my ideas of a man who could potentially damage me or other women. What do you expect walking around acting like you could hurt someone at the drop of a hat? It’s your fault, I can’t help myself when I see a potential threat, it’s just nature. If you don’t want to be stabbed for looking threatening then cover up, wear something baggy to hide your muscular body, walk around by yourself so you’re less intimidating and keep your head down when I walk past so I don’t think you’re going to target me.